Evolution Of An Obsession
by harleyw90
Summary: The evolution of Santana's secret obsession with Finn over the years... Plus brief mention of her relationships with Puck/Quinn. I hate summaries.


**So i was really bored and i love this couple so thought i'd do a quick Finntana fic following Santana's POV across the episodes. So... yeah. Enjoy!.. hopefully.**

* * *

She thinks he's an idiot.

He's big and dumb and she doubts he's even able to dress himself in the mornings. But he's the quarterback, and he's wrapped around Quinn's little finger so she happily tolerates him.

When Quinn says mean things to him, she laughs, because it's funny but she finds it peculiar and wonders why he doesn't snap.

* * *

She sees him performing on stage and thinks he's kind of a rock star.

She's genuinely impressed. But Quinn's angry and jealous so they have to stop him. It's in his best interests, although part of her thinks it's a shame.

When they're forced to use plan B and join the club she's secretly stoked.

But it's a secret.

* * *

She wants to be Quinn.

Well, at least she wants what Quinn has.

The popularity, the head-cheerleading position, a respectable reputation and a steady boyfriend, willing to do anything for her.

But she can't have this.

So she fucks boys and she fucks people over and combines her strengths of audacity and humor to fuck people off.

She gets a bad reputation. But at least she's known.

And for the most part, it's a fun life.

* * *

Quinn's knocked up.

The pregnancy jokes come naturally to her and she runs with them but she doesn't mean it. Sure, a sadistic part of her is happy perfectly-perfect Quinn Fabray is falling off the pedestal, but they're still best friends so the concern and support come naturally too.

He steps up.

Big time. He's probably the most immature guy in the whole school but he steps up and deals with everything like a man. And for that he's probably the one person in the whole school she admires the most. But he gets no reward.

Just a desperate and hormonal girlfriend yelling at him 24/7.

One lunch they start a fight over a jellybean and he actually snaps back.

She's smiling to herself all afternoon. Good for him.

* * *

She and Puck are fuck buddies.

She likes him but they're not close. They choose not to be. But when he tells her it's his baby, she thinks he may as well have punched her in the stomach.

Puck was the only thing she had that Quinn didn't.

Fucking bad boys was her thing. But of course the chastity Queen wasn't satisfied with heaven so she had to take rule over hell as well.

It kills her that she'll always be second best.

* * *

He's broken.

She's never truly felt sympathy before but when she looks at him all she wants to do his fix him. She still thinks he's an idiot. And even more so for believing the hot tub story. But over the year she's realized how special he is.

A big, adorable, sweet doofus. Who doesn't deserve to be this broken.

* * *

They go on a three-wheel date.

She tells herself that it's business. She neglects him and it's mean. It's a tense and silent ride home. If she's honest she's amazed that he actually stuck around to offer it. She wants to make amends, but it's too late to try so she doesn't.

She cringes on reflection of the night as she's lying in bed.

A perfect opportunity to get everything she's ever wanted and she fucked it up big time.

* * *

They're having sex.

She takes control and he obeys her every command as she educates him. She's trying to get him to talk dirty to her but when he looks at her in awe and whispers that she's beautiful, she almost stops for lack of breath.

She thinks he's lying.

In her mind she convinces herself he delivered the usual smut she's used to hearing from boys and they carry on. It's awkward and clumsy but it feels good to be close to him in this way. He's gentle and caring, and despite the lack of satisfaction, it's the best experience she's had.

She briefly allows herself to think that this could be the start of something amazing. Something she's always wanted but never believed she could have. For a moment it's the beginning of a fairytale.

The moment's destroyed with one sentence.

'I don't feel anything, because it didn't mean anything'.

She flinches. He doesn't notice.

* * *

He says he thinks he's in love with Rachel.

Part of her knows it doesn't make sense. Rachel's irritating, and selfish and a prude and she knows most boys would chose her over Berry based on sex appeal alone.

But he's not 'most boys'.

So the other part of her thinks it makes all the sense in the world. And that part resigns her to months of ignoring him and any potential she once let herself think they had.

Puck goes after Mercedes. She's second best. Again.

* * *

They finish their set at regionals.

The crowd's blaring and he's beaming from cheek to cheek. In the haze of their celebration they lock eye contact and he makes a move towards her.

But Rachel gets there first and pulls him into an embrace that should have been hers.

* * *

Finn and Rachel are sickeningly happy for a while.

Quinn loses her baby weight and voices her intent on climbing back up the pedestal; meanwhile Puck won't stop pining after his 'baby-momma', and Brittney's nowhere to be found.

So she gets a boob job.

It just makes it more comfortable for Quinn to step on her on the road to being crowned head cheerleader again.

* * *

They're forced together as dance partners a lot this year.

She can't decide whether it's coincidence who's a bitch, or Mr Schue.

He struggles with all the dance moves and it frustrates him. When she thinks no one's looking she offers him words of encouragement and patiently takes him through it all until he starts to get it right. He assumes her intentions are built around not wanting him to embarrass them as a club.

It doesn't even cross his mind that she does it just to see his adorably dimpled-smile.

* * *

She realizes she's crushing on him and tries to force herself to stop.

Her sarcastic insults are fired with alarming venom but the crushed look on his face upon her delivery makes her feel like she took the poison herself.

She resumes her friends-with-benefits relationship with Puck and sometimes it helps. Sometimes she can't help but fantasize being in Finn's arms instead.

* * *

She arrives for the Burt-Hummel wedding and immediately changes into a designated red dress.

He storms through the hall in a frantic search for his suit jacket. He gives her a quick glance and a 'Hey' before remembering he left it in the nursery room.

As a goes to leave he stops in his tracks and turning to look at her he directs the words 'you look stunning' to her, in the most casual sincerity, before hastily rushing off. Something in her chest begins to ache and without thinking her feet carry her off to follow him.

He's standing in front of a mirror failing epically at trying to tie his tie.

She thinks he's an idiot.

She sits him down and begins draping his tie around underneath his collar.

She despises how vulnerable she feels around him and despite whatever confusing ache in her chest she refuses to lay her cards all out on the table.

So she resorts to her acquired art of manipulation.

He rejects her out of loyalty to Rachel. And it crushes her.

Looking across at the 'happy-Finchel-couple' during the wedding vows, she immerses herself in heartache one last time, before replacing her sad emotions with ones of bitterness and vengeance.

She makes her own vow that this will be the last time she lets herself almost fall for him.

* * *

She tells Rachel about taking his virginity and he makes her feel worthless again. But she convinces herself she doesn't care. He's a douchebag.

They perform at regionals and she notices him staring at her in awe during her solo but she convinces herself she doesn't care. He was just enjoying performing.

He helps her decorate the Christmas tree and they have fun but she convinces herself she doesn't care. It's Christmas, everything's fun.

He goes out of his way to convince her to quit the cheerios but she doesn't care. He gave the same speech to Quinn and Brittney as well.

She's quick to realize he's fooling around with Quinn again but she doesn't care. She just gives them mono. And the revenge feels so good she takes it further by getting together with Sam.

She's the last person he drops home after Rachel's party, and being a hysterical drunk, she spends the whole ride ranting about feeling like a stupid ugly slut.

Just before she gets out the car he hands her a pack of tissues. He tells her to stop crying because she's not a stupid ugly slut. She's awesome. He tells her she's smart and hilarious and ridiculously talented and that even though she scares the crap out of him sometimes, he thinks she's beautiful.

She thinks he's lying.

And she won't remember in the morning.

But she cares.

* * *

_He takes her hand and guides her to the center of the dance floor. _

_One hand gripping her on the waist of her white gown, and the other keeping her hand prisoner on top of his chest. Their friends and families gaze at the bride and groom with adoration and pride as the couple twirl gracefully despite the groom's normal lack of coordination. She looks into his warm eyes and sees a reflection of her own that start to tear with happiness. Her maid-of-honor runs over and almost ruins the moment by throwing rice in their faces, stating that she didn't want to do it outside in case a pigeon ate it and exploded. All she can do is laugh as her apologetic best-friend attempts to pick out the little pieces of rice from her hair as her new husband offers a playfully sarcastic 'thank you Brittney', before the ditzy blonde returns back into the crowd. _

_He places a soft kiss on the top of her nose and she thinks he's an idiot, until he leans down to affectionately whisper the words 'you're beautiful' in her ear. _

_And for the first time she believes him._

_

* * *

_

She has this dream so often it becomes hard to tell whether it's a gift or a curse.

At night the fantasy saves her.

But reality destroys her every morning.

So she fucks boys and she fucks people over and combines her strengths of audacity and humor to fuck people off.

And for the most part, it's a fun life.

* * *

**Bit of a depressing ending i'll admit but you can just ignore the last bit if you prefer and pretend the bit before is the real ending.  
Hopefully you didn't feel this was a waste of your time and any reads/reviews are greatly appreciated!  
Big up finntanna! **


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